Letting go with Love by Rocio Solaire Roca
I once knew a couple. They met when they were teenagers and together they raised two beautiful girls. Through thick and thin, sickness and health, jail time and infidelity, they managed to stay together for 20 years.
But as they grew up into the adults they were supposed to be, they grew apart. And even though the love was still there, it wasn’t enough to make the relationship work. So after 20 years, and in the middle of wedding plans, they both decided to end the relationship instead.
Through all my own breakups and witnessing my friends and family go through traumatic divorces, I had never witnessed two people separate as amicably as they both did. And I ask myself, why can’t we all take a page from their love story and do the same?
A friend of mine once said “everything has to end tragically. Because if it doesn’t end tragically then it would never have ended”. And I disagree. I believe that a relationship is a lot of work. I believe in debating our differences and coming up with a list of non negotiables and finding middle ground. But after a while, if two people can’t make a relationship work. If two people are absolutely miserable, then I think it’s best to separate. If something is broken you fix it. If you can’t fix it, then throw it away. Because Life is too short and precious to waste it away being miserable next to someone who refuses to put in the work. But with that being said, why can’t we let each other go in peace? Why hate each other?
I watched my friend move out and leave the love of his life and his two daughters behind. I tried everything to make him feel better. I told him it was ok. I told him “you have a lot of growing up to do. Maybe this time apart will help you grow as a person and maybe you’ll figure out a way back to her” and as he was crying his eyes out, his reply was “I wasn’t supposed to grow up. I was supposed to grow old with her”. It was one of the saddest things I ever heard a man say to me. And then he added “but I know I can’t make her happy. And I want her to be happy. Because she deserves all the happiness in the world. I’ve been so selfish hanging on to her and I can’t be selfish anymore”
She was too distraught to talk to me. Instead she sent me the copy of the 10 page goodbye letter she wrote to him.
Most people reading this might say “why would two people who love each other that much give up”. And that’s the sad part about love. That even though love is the most beautiful and highest vibrational frequency, sometimes love is not enough to make a relationship work. Sometimes people want different things and their goals are not aligned. Sometimes as people grow up, they grow apart. Some people are meant to be in our lives for a decade, or a season. Learn the lesson, cherish the good moments and move on. Others are meant to stay in our life forever and we must learn to accept each and any outcome and move on, with Love.
Sometimes people fall out of love. And that’s okay too. Everyone should be entitled to feel and not feel the same about you. Some people can’t handle the truth and they would rather live a lie and hold on to someone knowing that they’re not happy. Others, like me, want the truth. Because I’d rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones.
Letting go with love is the mature thing to do. Oftentimes people have to manufacture a reason to end the relationship because they’re not emotionally mature enough to own up that they’re done.
Why do most couples end up in war? Deep inside is it that we can’t find the courage to let go so we must start a battle to justify walking away?
So I ask myself why can’t we all learn from my friends’ love story and learn to let go with the same love we promised each other?
“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours forever. If they don’t, they never were”
Dedicated to my friends T/V. I’m proud of you both.
Solaire Love ❤️