Addicted to “love” by Rocio Solaire Roca

In relationships, we get so used to mistreatment, that when the right person arrives and gives us everything that the other person denied us, instead of enjoying the moment to the fullest, we tend to sabotage ourselves. WHY?

It’s not love, it’s addiction to suffering!

 We become so addicted to the pain that heartbreak causes,  that we spend the rest of our  lives searching for that pain and that sick love. And when we find someone compatible who is willing to love us the right way, it feels so unfamiliar that we convince ourselves that this person is not the one. So we push them away. Because  it’s not really love we’re  searching for. It’s the pain that we’re addicted to. So it makes sense that when we meet a healthy love, this love cannot  provide us with the“fix” that we’re looking for. We have learned to associate love with pain and we tell ourselves that we will never love that way again. And the answer is yes! We should not look forward to loving like that again.  Because that is not LOVE!

What  if love was never supposed to hurt in the first place? What if everything we were taught about love is all wrong? 

Liam Nelson once said “Everyone says love hurts. But that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in the world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.” 

The truth is that if we don’t take the initiative and get the help we need to heal, we will continue to attract the wrong people into our lives. We will continue to be drawn to damaged people who will ultimately end up hurting us. Unless we do the work and heal, when we find a person who treats us as we deserve and love feels so effortlessly, if we are not healed, we will become bored and convince ourselves that this is not love.  This is due to the fact that we have learned to associate true love with pain and unless we do our job and unlearn all these bad programmigs about LOVE, we will not be successful in future relationships.

 Pain only exists to propel us into action. We are not supposed to remain stuck in negative feelings. We work so hard to fix a relationship that has already died. And we do so much damage to ourselves in the process. Then the universe comes and kicks us and forces us to move. The universe tells us “hey, it’s not there. Move on”. But because we are so addicted to pain, we stay there until a blow comes so hard that there is no choice but to leave.

Being a “love addict” is as detrimental to our emotional wellbeing as  addiction to heroin. 

This is why it is crucial that we seek therapy and try to connect to our inner self and Source for healing and guidance.

During our healing process,  we must keep several key points under perspective: 

1- Nobody owes us anything. Anyone has the right to stop loving us at any time. If God gave us free will, who do we think we are to force another to succumb to our will?

2- You are never a victim. Nobody is hurting you. You did the damage to yourself by becoming addicted to suffering and not leaving the moment you felt underappreciated.

3-Stay alone until you learn to love. Learn the true definition of Love which is that Love does not suffocate, it does not hurt. One does not beg for love. Love is not taught. Love is a beautiful feeling that comes naturally.

4-love is a vibration. If you want to attract a healthy love, heal yourself first. Otherwise you will attract a toxic love again.

5-The end of this relationship does not mark a failure in your life. If this person doesn’t value you, let them go with Love and thank them because now you have the opportunity to attract a healthy and  beautiful kind of love. 

So before you go out there in search of love, again, heal yourself first. Delete all your heartbreak programming. Heal yourself of all that pain and suffering and reset your heart. And start downloading the correct love files. Try to avoid getting  attached to  someone else you will eventually  have to learn to live without. 

Walk away from any type of “love” that hurts, that makes you feel small and unappreciated. And wait for the right kind of Love. The one that uplifts your spirit and feeds your soul.  

Love, because it’s priceless. But so so worth it.. 

With Love, Solaire Love